Friday, October 18, 2013
Marking a loss
It's been a month now since the miscarriage and I find myself on the one hand trying to move forward and on the other trying not to just carry on as if nothing happened.
It occurred to me a couple of weeks ago that I need some way to mark the loss. Another mum who lost a baby at the same stage about the same time, but in a different way (there was no heart beat), had a funeral. That wasn't possible in our case so I settled on the idea of a ring.
The baby was due in April so I thought I'd get a ring with the birthstone for April, which turned out to be diamond. Today I found the ring (I pick it up next Wednesday). I love the flower shape as it seems to symbolise life and the beading around the diamonds looks to me like a cluster of tears around the stone in the middle.
It feels a bit like giving in to consumerism (solving your problems by buying something), but looking on the internet it also seems to be the gut instinct of many other women in my situation.