Friday, September 20, 2013
The M Word
Not a great week. It was a bit of a shock to find myself pregnant (at 45) following our holiday in Hawaii.
Things went wrong last weekend at 11 weeks. I spent six hours at ER on Sunday evening and then Monday morning at the Early Pregnancy Assessment Service (EPAS) at Royal North Shore Hospital. The whole department is just for women with signs of miscarriage (it even has its own ultrasound scanner). It was a blessing to be away from everyone else.
When I first realised I was pregnant (8 weeks ago) I went on to Google and learnt that there's a 40% chance of miscarriage if you're over 40, so it wasn't entirely unexpected. The EPAS staff told me that the reason for miscarriage is almost always chromosomal, it's nature's way of saying things are not right here. So it's not caused by stress or overdoing it, or yelling at the boys!
Thankfully my friend Melissa was around to help. She stayed with the boys while I went to ER and then stayed overnight so I had another adult in the house, then she took me to the EPAS department the next morning. She's been phoning and sending regular SMSs the last few days just to check I'm ok and remind me to take it easy.
If you'd have asked me three months ago if I wanted another baby I would have said "not particularly", we weren't so much trying for a baby as just not doing anything to prevent one (see here), but when it came down to it Allan and I were both thrilled. A baby seemed like an unexpected blessing and it's a huge disappointment that things have turned out this way.